Why the old rules of success are breaking us and why we choose to redefine success instead

Taking a moment to reflect on something that’s been sitting with me since a conversation I had recently about redefining success.

A brilliant leader told me, “I hit every goal this quarter, but satisfaction feels… empty. I’m already scanning for what’s next before I’ve even celebrated this win.” She was ready to redefine success entirely, but didn’t know where to start.

Sound familiar?

Here’s what they described: the promotion lands, the revenue target gets crushed, the leadership milestone you’ve been chasing for months finally happens. There should be celebration. Relief. That deep exhale of satisfaction.

Instead, you’re already hunting for the next mountain to climb.

If that voice sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And you’re definitely not broken. You’re just running on a version of success that was never designed for who you actually are. And maybe, just maybe, it’s time to redefine success entirely. 

What Success Is Quietly Costing You

Something I keep hearing from the leaders: we don’t talk enough about what success actually costs. Not the money you invest or the hours you put in. The other costs. The ones that don’t show up on your résumé but show up in your life.

Your health and energy

The stress that lives in your shoulders. The sleep you sacrifice for deadlines. The way your body keeps score of every late night and skipped meal, every boundary you crossed in service of looking successful.

Your joy and fulfillment

When was the last time you felt genuinely excited about your work instead of just capable at it? When did achievement stop feeling like victory and start feeling like checking boxes?

Your relationships and presence

The conversations you’re too tired to have. The presence you can’t fully give because part of you is still mentally in that meeting. The way you show up for everyone else’s needs but struggle to voice your own.

Your identity and authenticity

The parts of yourself you’ve learned to minimize or hide to fit into professional spaces. The code-switching. The performance. The growing gap between who you are at work and who you are everywhere else.

These costs accumulate quietly. We tell ourselves they’re temporary. That once we reach the next level, we’ll have space to breathe. To rest. To be whole. But the goal posts keep moving. And the costs keep compounding.

The Hidden Organizational Cost

But here’s what most leaders don’t realize: these individual costs don’t stay individual. When leaders are quietly sacrificing their health, joy, and authenticity for success, it ripples through entire organizations.

It becomes normal to prioritize output over outcomes. To mistake exhaustion for dedication. To accept that sustainable excellence somehow isn’t as impressive as burnout-fueled achievement.

When leaders normalize self-sacrifice, they accidentally teach everyone else that thriving isn’t professional. No wonder entire organizations start running on unsustainable programming.

Why It’s Time to Redefine Success in Leadership

Here’s what I’m learning: You don’t have to choose.

Not between ambition and well-being. Not between professional success and personal fulfillment. Not between being taken seriously and being authentically yourself.

The either/or framework that dominates most leadership advice is a false choice. It assumes that sacrifice is the price of admission to success. That you have to trade parts of yourself to earn your place at the table.

But what if the table itself is the problem?

What if instead of asking “How do I succeed in this system?” we started asking “How do I build success that actually works for who I am?”

When you redefine success, it isn’t about lowering your standards or abandoning your ambitions. It’s about raising the bar on what success actually means. It’s about refusing to accept that excellence requires exhaustion.

How to Redefine Success Without Lowering Standards

Traditional success advice tells you to optimize yourself for systems that weren’t built with you in mind. To fix your mindset, manage your time better, lean in harder.

At Latitude & Levity, we believe the problem isn’t you. It’s the system.

We’re here to help high-achievers rewrite the rules of success. To build leadership that reflects your full identity, not just your résumé. To create space for both your ambition and your humanity.

This work isn’t about finding perfect balance. It’s about finding sustainable alignment. Success that feels as good as it looks. Leadership that energizes instead of depletes. Achievement that builds you up instead of hollowing you out.

Both/and leadership: ambitious AND aligned, driven AND sustainable, successful AND fully human.

And when enough leaders choose both/and, entire workplace cultures shift. From sacrifice-based achievement to sustainable excellence. From performing leadership to embodying it.

The Permission You’ve Been Waiting For

You have permission to want more than what you’ve been taught to accept.

You have permission to question why success demands so much sacrifice.

You have permission to build something better.

Success shouldn’t cost you everything. Not your health. Not your joy. Not your relationships. Not your identity.

And the fact that you’re questioning the cost? That’s not a sign that you’re ungrateful or uncommitted. It’s a sign that you’re ready for something real.

Your Next Step

Taking a moment to think about this: what would become possible if you gave yourself permission to redefine success on your own terms?

Take a real cost audit. Not your financial investments or time commitments. The other costs.

What is your current version of success actually costing you? Where do you feel the weight of either/or choices in your leadership?

The answers to those questions aren’t just personal insights. They’re the first step toward success that actually fits the life you want to live.

When you change how you define and pursue success, you don’t just transform your own experience. You model a different way of leading that gives everyone around you permission to choose something better.

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Ready to explore what both/and leadership looks like for you? Start with our free Success OS™ Assessment to discover which patterns might be quietly running your leadership experience. Because the first step to building better is understanding what you’re working with.